Life of a fucker. Episode 32.
Stupid little things can go a long way in influencing a big part of our lives. So me and Chinaza decided we needed minor break. Funny thing was this was coming not up to a month after I had pledged to love her until Christ’s second coming. The cause of the break up was something as insignificant as I love you. I don’t usually like chatting with her on whatsapp because we always end up fighting, so whatever we want to say each, we do it over phone calls and that’s it. On a day like this, i decided to compliment a picture she uploaded on her whatsapp profile where she wore a cloth that brought out that perfect shape in her, her ass protruding and boobs standing like Kilimanjaro. I must confess she looked awesome in it, all thanks to her beauty and curves plus camera360 and picsart. So i chatted her up. We talked, i asked her if I could hold her waist, she sent a smiley and said its mine. Well we got kinky, everything we usually did in my room, on my bed, we did it there on whatsapp, we didn’t exchange pics shaa, i don’t like the idea of seeing things that i can’t actually access. Well our chat was wonderful for a very long time, i was just conscious of the point where we get to argue but it didn’t come, surprisingly, the chat was about to end on a good note. We both got tired and decided to go to bed, we both said Goodnights and just then, it came.
“I love you baby” i said abi texted
“love you too” she replied
“Put ‘I’ there ” i said
” How?” she asked
“Say i love you too and not love you too”
“Hian, biko take it like that”
“No, you gats to put it for me to know it came from your heart, that love you too isn’t romantic enough”
“neche if you can’t take that one, leave it”.
For no reason, i was getting angry at this little drama, she too wasn’t helping matters. Naza was bad mouthed and also bad fingered. Well we argued and i insisted on the ‘I’ before love you and she too stuck to her high horse. In the end, i told her that if she didn’t comply with my demands then the relationship will have to be in traffic jam for the time being. Well Naza being who she was, she just said ok. Our chat ended and our affair too. I wanted to teach her a lesson, i wanted her to miss me, maybe then she will come to harken to all my demands. Well shaa, it turned out that i was the one being taught the lesson, i don’t know if she missed me or not but i know i so much wanted her to come and say sorry so we can continue but then, naza decided to teach me lessons.
Early the next day, i switched on my data and ran straight to her whatsapp contact, found her online, a look at her profile again made me want to end the quarrel but i wasn’t prepared for the heaps of laughter she would drop on me. Hmmm, pride was just about to destroy my relationship gan.
I was really moody for days, yes, our beef lasted for days. And in my mind, i was considering that some one must have made naza realize how beautiful she was for her to be doing shakara for me like that. She obviously didn’t tell shape about it and i also didn’t want to tell her. Well shaa, i can’t come and die over Chinaza when i have Eva and others to think about. Crazy Eva, she came back to school three good weeks after resumption. We shaa, i missed her and she missed me too. She told me for the first time in her life, she had made a new year resolution. She was going to upgrade from being my bang mate to my girlfriend, now that was funny but the other funniest part was that she had declared no sex for us until she had accomplished her aim. Now that was some sick poo. So who do i run to? Shape is a virgin, Cynthia is the devil’s personal assistant, Jennifer was, well anyway, i wont even let her number step foot in my contact talk more of she herself into my room. So this was my case.
“i thought you loved blowjobs” i asked Eva the day she came to my room.
“Your sperm is not sweet, i don’t love blowjobs, i just love you and the Mouth Gig was a package that came along with it” she said as she did her best not to get entangled with me, she was practically brushing my hands off. Hmmmm, Evangeline was brushing my hands off and i thought this year was going to be an interesting one. Now see, Eva was a beautiful girl, undoubtedly, the type that you would like to introduce to every one you know but then again, i already have everything i want in her in Chinaza, though she could be more hardcore but then, you can never manage the two of them at a time, you will just wake up one day and die away. I thought we were both content with the our affair of fuckery until she told me about her new year resolution. The offer was more than tempting but then, the Apple Eve ate was also tempting.
We spent that day dragging on and on, i gave her a thousand reasons why our present arrangement was the best and she gave me a million reasons why we shouldn’t be fuvking when we are not dating. Shaa shaa, she went home and the only thing she gave me was a hug that lasted only 5 seconds. Immediately she left, an idea struck me, i picked my whatsapp and updated my profile picture with a very sexy, Seductive picture of Eva, i was hoping she would see it and At least let me have a little poke, even if she doesn’t let me cum inside her, at least, i can manage. 3 minutes after I uploaded the picture, my whatsapp notification binged, i checked and got a real shocker, a positive shocker.
“I love you too”. That was the message and it was from Chinaza. Hehehe, chinaza have finally mellowed.
“Hmmm, for real?” i sent to her.
“Yes, i’m sorry” she texted.
“Ok, thank God you finally get small sense” i said and added a smiling emoticon
“Thank you, can you now remove that picture before i get annoyed”.
I should have known. Lolol.
Life of a fucker. Episode 33.
You are plus one today, that’s a plus to your your age, a plus to your wisdom, to your intelligence, to your brilliance, to your sexiness, to your hips, ass and boobs and a plus to everything good and sexy in your life, may your birthday bring great Joy that will surprise even you into your life. My star, my moon, my baby mama, my headache and my soft mattress, happy birthday”
There is only one person in this world that i can send this type of message to. You are free to guess.
I made sure I woke her up with it, i wanted mine to be the first message she will receive on her birthday otherwise it may mean a one month long fight between us.
Her reply came in few seconds after I sent the message. She called shaa, apparently my text had woken her up. The sleep was still all over her voice but she was excited.
“Baby, I love you so so much much sugar, muaah!!” that was a kiss
“Haa, easy o before you give me diabetes, happy birthday sweetheart”
“Thanks baby, I love you”.
“I know, so who’s taking you out?”
“Are you not coming? ”
“Come where?”
“My lodge nah, Neche you have to come o, its my birthday, your baby’s birthday” she stressed that baby and birthday and my brain translated it to “come and spend money”
“Your birthday and then? Is it Christ’s birthday abi Christmas that i will visit you?”
“Hmmm, Neche even on my birthday, you want to start quarrel?maybe you think I will fight with you and then you can dodge giving me my gifts, lie lie, I will fight with you today, tomorrow you will bring me my gift o”. I only smiled, she don catch me like that. Shaa I was planning to pay her a surprise visit but on a low key. I will just go there, chop food, chop her and go back to my house, I have done enough fasting and needed to flex my muscle.
“Bae chillax naa, we will see later but not today” I said
“Why naa, it’s not fair o, if its other girls now”
“Ehe, if it’s other girls?”
“I don’t know, Just don’t talk to me again if you don’t visit me today, imagine, you have not even been to my lodge for once, to see how I am coping, if I am fine or not”
“If you are not fine, come down to my place. In fact i don’t blame you, na me send you text message ” I said and gave her a 200km hiss.
“Neche am sorry, please come naa, I want to see you, eh biko”
“I’m not coming, I don’t have transport money, happy birthday and goodbye”.
The call ended like that, none of us usually took the fights to heart as it was a normal thing. I manage to pull myself up from the bed and brushed my teeth before I forgot. Dressed up my room and went outside.
“Good morning sweetheart”. That was chinenye greeting me, she was one of the curve queens in our lodge, her face normally looked better when she had make up on than when it was bare, but she fine to an extent shaa tbh. So since her face was bare, I just fixed my gaze on her boobs.
“Baby wassup naa”
“I’m sharp”
“I can see that ” I said eyeing her all over and spiritually licking my lips.
“Its like your body is still asleep” I said shifting my gaze back to her boobs.
“How?”
“Your breast, they are lying down on your singlet, wake them up”.
She hit me with the towel she was holding and burst into laughter. I shaa adjusted the singlet for her and ran into James room. I met the nigga lying on the floor fast asleep. I walked up to him and beat him up.
“Nna guy what naa, someone can not sleep for you again even on Saturday ” he protested rubbing his eyes.
” Mumu today is Friday, I just need one thing from you”
“What? ”
That flower your babe gave you for your birthday”
“what for?”
“I want to give it to Naza for her birthday, I hope the scent is still there? ”
” Oh, today is her birthday”
“Yes, where is the flower abeg?”
“Erm check the wardrobe “.
I got the flower, a red one, the smell was still partially there but it wasn’t much.
” You body odour is already smelling all over it” I said looking down at him. He gave me one kind look that made me correct my statement. “Don’t worry, I can manage it”.
“One more thing” I said pocketing the flower.
“What is it? ”
” The birthday wishes card she also gave you”
“Noo, that one is specially made for me, She will ask for it one day and i can’t give it to you”
“James please naa, remember I once gave you Chinaza’s bumshort to give to your babe as a gift” I said hiding a smile, he eyed me and smiled.
“Oya carry microphone and tell everybody naa, get it from my locker”.
I was able to dig up the card, it had a beautiful design and the message was just perfect for my baby.
“How will you change the name on it?” James asked
“Don’t worry, Just watch me”.
After over 15 minutes of cutting and designing bits and pieces of paper, I was able to cover the names on the card and wrote mine on it. My next stop was in shapes room. She was on a cotton short nicker and a top that looked like a bra and a singlet. It showed her stomach and her boobs too. I would have been distracted but I was there for serious business, besides anytime I set my eyes on shape, the first thing that comes into my mind is Virgin.
“The sexiest virgin alive” I hailed her as I got into her room.
“Hey, sweetheart”
“How was your night?”
“Cute, yours? ”
” Fine o, Just this cold and loneliness”. She smiled and eyed me naughtilly.
“Hope you have wished Naza a happy birthday?”
“It was the first thing I did today and that is also why I am here”
“Tell me about it”
“Well first one, can i have your powder?”.
“Ok”. Her powder smelled absolutely nice so all I did was take out the rose flower, sprinkle the powder on it while Shape watched like I was doing a merlin something. I managed to get the flower to smell like the powder, it was a lovely one and shape laughed at my ingenuity. What else can a broke lover boy like me do?.
“Now onto the next one” I said and shape looked at me in a really sweet way and my mind yelled, Virgin!
“Ermmm, shape, do you have a new pant or bra that you are not using?”. Hahaha, now, that was supposed to be a joke but i was serious in a way.
“Why?” she asked Giving me a puzzled look.
“I want to add it to a list of Naza’s birthday presents”
“But me and her don’t wear the same size naa, I’m bigger than her” she said and that was true, Naza was the hour glass type of girl but everything was moderate in a sexy kinda way, but shape, men she was just shape.
“Don’t worry, the tailor will slim fit it” I said and we both burst into laughter.
So with everything set, I was ready to drop in on Naza like a nuclear bomb, her presents were lined up on my bed according to heights. The card, the flower and a bottle of red wine, borrowed from a lodge mate. I had promised to return it to him once I get back, Naza hated red wine and I was sure she wouldn’t drink it but at least she would acknowledge that I bought WINE even though it wasn’t her type but then, I can always say I forgot that she hated it. Shape was going to accompany me, I don’t know who was going to pay for the transportation but then, I know that the Lord will always be Good. 11am on the dot, I was preparing to take my bath when my door opened.
“Shape, its stilll early naa, I thought we agreed 1pm” I said facing the T.v.
“Hello” a totally different, Seductive and hypertension reducing voice called out. I jerked up and took a look in the direction of the door. I didn’t know whether to be angry or smile at her. She just stood there in all her beauty and curvature, her skintight mini gown x-raying her body, her face looking better than it was the last she had visited, her her curves were sharper than a French curve abi bending corner. She was a heavy, the Mercy Johnson kind of heavy. The moment I set my eyes on Cynthia at my door, I knew Chinaza’s birthday was about to be relegated to the background.
Life of a fucker. Episode 34.
If you thought I was ever going to miss My baby’s birthday just because Cynthia dropped her bad ass in my room that fateful day, well, you would have thought right and if you thought I wasn’t going to miss Naza’s birthday for anything in the world, errrm, you should be right also.
Of the above two school of thoughts, the later was more applicable, I so much wanted to stay back and sample what Cynthia had brought for me, that was me, if it’s cute and shapy and wears a skirt, I’m in. But then, Shape wasn’t ready for that and besides, she had to protect the interest of her dearly beloved friend.
“Cynthia,” I had sang out the very moment she walked into my room, all thick with her endowments. She would have been very muscular if she was a man. She gave me that look that would knock any man out and make any flaccid dick do a dab. As I sat there, the Cynthia I saw was far from the devil I had always tagged her to be, you couldn’t find any better definition for a perfect angel, only that she wasn’t fair or had wings.
“Baby,” she muttered, walking up to me on the bed and drawing me into her thick, sweet, seductive perfume. She sat besides me, her boobs all over me like the anointing was on the disciples on the day of Pentecost.
“You never told me your were coming.” I managed to say amidst the whole excitement.
“You would have told me not to come.” she replied, dropping her head on my shoulder.
“I missed you,” she whispered and dropped her hand on my bare laps, just below my boxers.
“You missed me abi you missed the banging.”
She laughed and withdrew her hand.
“I missed everything.” she replied. I turned to face her and God was I tempted. I imagined the about 30 minutes fun that would happen if I was to get down with this fine lady and compared it with the days of unlimited tongue lashing that would happen if I happened to miss Chinaza’s birthday. My mind told me it wasn’t worth it but the flesh was weak all through. My body was going to be disappointed in me if I missed this opportunity of sampling this girl again after a very long time.
“So what did you bring for me?”, I asked, trying to cover up all the dirty thoughts going on in my mind.
“See me here, am I not enough?” she asked, giving me a suggestive smile.
“You what? You want to come and forget something again abi?” I asked and she burst into laughter.
“How is your baby? Are you still together?” she asked maybe expecting a no. She was disappointed shaa but that didn’t stop her from stealing a kiss. A kiss I willingly allowed her to steal. We adjusted ourselves on the bed for a little romance, as e dy hot. My lips found its way to hers and we kissed explosively, kissing each other out of breath, my hands were already on their ways to her zipper, yapping at her bra strap at the same time, the bra snapped first and the load of her massive jugs fell on her clothes. I moved my lips down to her nape and my left hand involuntarily found its way to her mass of fleshy breasts.
It had been a long time since I last got some action and my body reflected it so much. One thing to the other and we were both on the bed, a few inches to being fully unclad. My fingers were already penetrating her wet coochie while my fully erect peni were protesting to take their rightful place, she moaned softly to my touches and held my near exploding dick with her hands, trying to dislodge it. I tugged and pulled at her panties and she held my hands to my surprise. I gave her a look that portrayed all the vexation I was going to heap on her if she dared stopped what she had started. She merely smiled and nodded towards the door.
“Lock your door please,” she said and I jerked up from her, shooting my gaze towards the open door.
“Ok, the door,” I replied and got up from the bed, adjusting my boxers and heading towards the door, I waved the curtains aside and Shape was there, staring at my awkwardly elongated boxers.
“Shape!” I snapped, staring at her.
“Chinecherem!” she called back, her eyes still fixed on my erected dick.
“Must you come now?” I asked with frustration all over my voice, disregarding her attention towards the lower part of my body, after all she was a virgin, what does she know about it all.
“How do you mean?” she asked with a wicked grin on her face.
“I have a guest baby, could you wait a little while before coming back?” I pleaded.
“It depends,” she replied.
“On what?”
“Whether your visitor is male or female.”
“Male ko? Male and my something is rising like this, do I look “Gayish” to you?”
“So it’s a female then?” she asked trying not to break into a laughter.
“Yes naa, and I need to sort out something with her before everything goes cold.”
I was really trying hard not to yell.
“I’m not coming back anything, I am going in there with you now.”
“Shape please, you know we love each other.”
She nodded and smiled.
“That’s why I am trying to protect you dear.”
“Protect me? You are frustrating me joor.” I said getting really annoyed that I was losing my attention.
We dragged on, back and forth and in the end, shape found her way into my room, spoiling my fun. By the time we both got back in, Cynthia was already dressed and that added to all my anger.
” Oya go and bath dear, you don’t want to be late for Naza’s birthday, trust me,” she said with a tone of feminine domination. I eyed her and hissed.
Soon she was already conversing with Cynthia while I grudgingly made my way to the bathroom, I was visibly annoyed at everything, the shower, the water, the soap, the sponge, even my own dick was annoyed at me.
“Shape had it been you weren’t a virgin, I would have bleeped the both of you right there.” I murmured angrily.
I soon finished and got out of the bathroom, Shape and Cynthia were busy with the TV and chatting away when I got out. I eyed her again and turned my face towards Cynthia.
“Cynthia, you can do anything with her,” I pointed at Shape and continued “but don’t be friends please.”
Shape laughed and Cynthia smiled.
“Why?” she asked
“Because it will be an infringement on some of my interests, just don’t be friends with her abeg.”
The two of then burst into laughter. It puzzled me how Cynthia wasn’t even angry at Shape for disrupting our little fun, well shaa, girls and their ways.
I managed to change, away from their prying eyes and trust me, it wasn’t easy at all. Shape never for once took her eyes off and Cynthia took occasional glances.
2pm and were already on our way out, I, Shape and Cynthia. We got to where we had to pick a bus, Cynthia bade us farewell and dropped a simmering hot hug on me, one that let my body x-ray hers. As she walked away from us, all protruding parts of her body shook and my dick nodded in unison.
“That was what you made me miss.” I said and pinched Shape at her back. She winced and slapped my arm off.
“Don’t worry, Chinaza will compensate you for that.”
“I’m always telling you, they are not the same.”
“Which is better, she or Naza?”
“Don’t ask me,” I replied.
She laughed and rubbed my hand in a way that I couldn’t help but smile.
You needed to see how Chinaza threw herself at me when we got to her lodge. If I hadn’t eaten, I would have landed on the ground. She was all over me, showing me off to her lodge mates in a way that got me wondering if she thought I was some celebrity.
The sweet aroma of fried rice ushered us into her room. Funny enough, that was my first time of ever visiting her. The room was up to her standard as a girl. The room was very feminine in a an appealing way and I loved it.
The pot of rice soon got down from the fire, we sang a happy birthday song, I presented my borrowed gifts which she loved so much and never hid that fact, she returned the favor with loads of kisses and sweet names calling. I flashed the “Borrowed Bottle of Red Wine” in her face and dropped it by the bed. Apparently she hated red wines and wasn’t going to drink it. I brought it for that purpose though, because I was going to return it to the owner, I don’t have 5k to lavish on colored alcoholic water when Heineken and Smirn Off is always available.
Well, the music came on and she twerked to her birthday, she had the floor alone for sometime before Shape joined her and then her other sexy lodge mates. She twerked on me and I praised God that I didn’t miss this birthday for anything. Her happiness made me happy and the coming night looked so promising, if you know what I mean. The power of alcohol could never be over estimated, Not even the devil could keep me away from shape’s backside, I tapped all the blessings and kept it for myself alone. Her female lodge mates weren’t spared too, it was a rocking spree and I immersed myself fully in in it. The other guys couldn’t keep away from shape, I didn’t like it and wished I had brought James along, he would have handled shape and kept her away from those scavengers. We danced and danced, got more drunk and danced more. Had it been possible, I don’t who would have done it but I was sure one person between Chinaza and I, would have swallowed the other. Only then did I realize how much I had missed my baby. Maybe the booze in my system opened my eyes to that fact. She was so beautiful as she sweated from the rigorous twisting and shaking of her body and assets.
And when the time came, remember that borrowed bottle of wine? The one of “FIVE THOUSAND NAIRA”, the one I was planning to return? Yes, that particular one,
Chinaza “Popped” it!
Life of a fucker. Episode 35.
I think it’s time someone told these girls that even though boys will always be boys, they will always have someone special. And if he tells you that you are the one, do not stress it, because even though he may be lying, it could also be the truth. What am I saying sef, I’m even confusing myself.
Yes, because we are very likely to sleep with everything on skirt as long as it’s not underaged (underage turns some people on tho), and it’s got a big backside (my favorite), it simply does not mean we are madly in love with them, we will always reserve that special part of us for our special one, it could be true that the special one is you, it could also be false.
And apart from the ass, we do appreciate a great face because when we are over the the table with our friends, sharing some alcohol, we can’t possibly tell her to stand up so we can introduce her and her ass to our friends, it’s the face that gets all the attention. So no need fussing all over the place because your boo is hitting on a girl with some ass when you have the better face.
That was how Chinaza was bringing the roof down on me because Cynthia forgot her g-string in my room, ehen? So what? It’s only at this moment that whenever I remember that almost forgotten saga, I go gaga.
Although I don’t tell it to her that I’m mad over it, hehehe, if it was you, will you tell?
Now to the main thing..
Me and Chinaza decided we needed another little quarrel, don’t ask me why, I would have willingly told you if I remembered, it wasn’t about the wine she popped, it was actually over something insignificant, that wine wasn’t insignificant.
Meanwhile, our lodge borehole just went amok, it suddenly started running 24 hours a day, open or closed, the water just kept turning up like olamide’s turn up, our lodge almost experienced a mini flooding until unexpectedly, the water stopped. That was the beginning of water scarcity in our lodge.
We all sat at home, expecting the landlord to shake body, when the thing Clear us for eye was when we saw her daughter, Ngozi, a 16 year old unusually endowed girl, mind you, I’m not eyeing her, she is beautiful but I wasn’t eyeing her.
As I was saying, when we saw her pushing her brand new wheelbarrow to the public tap some distance away from our lodge, that was when it dawned on us that salvation was a little far away.
That morning, I was tired of wooing shape to get me a gallon of water each time, shape needed a new wooing for every favor you would like to ask her. I decided to follow her to the tap before preparing for school, I needed water for that purpose.
We walked abi dragged ourselves to the tap, shape caused heart attacks as she strode besides me, clad in her singlet that was lifting her boobs like a weightlifter, the boobs peeped over the top of the singlet in an enticing way. Her bumshots lapped to her laps and jingled each step she took.
Depending on how fast you walk, the journey from our lodge to the public tap takes around 3 minutes, well, me and shape, it took us 10 minutes. Trust me, you can’t be walking with Shape and like to walk fast, not when your left hand is clutching a gallon and your right hand clutching her booty. With her, you just can never get enough, if I can’t get down on that ass, I might as well rub off some blessings from it and she doesn’t mind.
Our entourage arrived at the pump and the queue there wasn’t just mad, it was raving. Shape took both our gallons and added it to the queue. I moved my self to a corner and made a sit out of piles of stone, just a little close to the lines of gallons. My phone was at home and there was nothing else I could do but sample the various types of assorted figures and shapes that came to fetch water.
I was doing just fine until one lady got closer to where I was, one fine plump lady with a booty that can back two 3 year old children effortlessly, that kind of booty that when you climb it, you will just hang on it and it wouldn’t bulge. She stole my attention from the rest, I even forgot about shape for a while where she was chatting away with some girls and drawing attention from the sex starved guys that littered the place.
The fair lady came closer to where I was and bent low, right in front of me to screw tight the cover of her gallon. She made it look like a tough job and spent a considerable amount of time on it, worst still, she faced me while she was at it and her robust boobs that had no iota of stretch mark dangled and smiled at me through the neck of her blouse. My mischievous dick was already dangling along and I positioned and repositioned myself to avoid getting caught.
I must have been so engrossed in watching something that I can’t access that I didn’t notice when shaped came to where I sat and nearly shoved me off my make shift chair with her booty.
“Neche, I hope you know she is someone’s wife?” she whispered to me.
“Did I say I was looking at her?” I protested and she laughed.
“If you were not looking at her then how did you know who I was talking about?”
I swear shape is 30 percent beautiful and the other percent troublesome.
“I accept, I was looking, now can you let me look in peace after all you won’t allow me look at your own.”
She laughed and got up, shoved my head and went back to fetch our gallons, to my relief. But then, it was too late. The woman had already covered her gallon of water.
We fetched our gallons and I had to take the two of them, mine and hers, home. I was playing the superman while the only reward she gave me was chat away the remaining strength I had after carrying 2 jellycan’s of water.
I dragged my jellycan of water into my corridor and dropped it there, a very pleasant surprise awaited me as I bounced into my room.
Eva was there on my bed, relaxed like she was the one that paid that year’s rent for me and watching the T. V.
“Hey baby!” she screamed in a girly way when she saw me. She actually jumped on me from the bed. That girl is just too beautiful for my liking. As I held her up, packing up her ass with my arms and looking up at her face in the air, I just prayed shape wouldn’t intrude like she was notorious for.
I dropped her and the proper hugging commenced, that moment a nicki minaj replica would drop all her details on you and all your hormones would rush in affirmation that she was indeed hot. If only she knew what she did to me then.
“Neche did you forget me?” she asked.
“How can I? Is that one even possible?”
I was rubbing her body, trying to make my point clear, I don’t know if she was aware of what I missed about her, I just know that I needed that body very much, I could manage without the head.
She seemed to have forgotten about the condition she gave me before we could sex up again, the condition that it would only happen if we started dating.
Locking my door was the first priority then I flipped my shirt to where I didn’t know. I kept her pant carefully by the side though. Then our pre-intimacy began, she was always ahead of me in that aspect. Before I could drop properly on the bed, she was already on my dick, hounding on it. I pulled her up from there, I had better ideas.
I grabbed her lips with mine and licked it dry and then went for her rounded boobs, unpacking them from her bra and handling the Tips like they were some radio tuner. I massage the massive jugs and my dick went harder while she moaned and called my name in a way that turned me on the more.
My adventurous fingers found it’s way down to her belly button and screeched to a brake at her coochie. They slopped down and went into the hole like some snake, she jerked and pinned my hand against her clit. I made a few thrusts with my fingers and would have replaced them with my dick if my phone didn’t ring.
We both peeped at the screen of my phone, probably to find out the intruder that was trying to mess up this lovely moment. Chinaza’s picture came up on the caller screen. I had to pick because she could give you 20 missed calls and still continue.
“So this is how you are, eh Chinecherem?” she shouted on the phone.
“Chinaza how am I?”
“Just because of a little quarrel, you decide you won’t call me again abi?”
“Shebi you said I shouldn’t call your phone again?”
“You didn’t even ask if I was joking,” she replied and I smiled.
“So you are missing me?” I asked.
“No I’m not, I’m on my way to your lodge shaa, that’s why I called you, keep something for me.”
The phone went dead before my brain could process the information she just dropped. On her way to my lodge could be that she was at the gate or already at my door.
Dj Khalid’s [h2]ANOTHER ONE[/h2] kept ringing in my head. I was about to get caught again and I didn’t even enjoy anything.
Eva just stared at me, she probably heard the call. Her problem wasn’t that she was on her way over, her problem was that she just remembered the condition she gave me before we could have sex again and the fact that my girl just called in the middle of our fun wasn’t helping matters.
She left before Naza came tho. But then, why was it hard for her to believe that she could be the one I’m really into? Although it was a lie, but how would she know.
And oh, I just remembered, the my quarrel with Naza was because she bluntly refused me a groupie with her friends on her birthday. I was drunk when I asked though.
But was that really insignificant?
Life of a fucker. Episode 36.
Chinaza came to my lodge looking so
unlike her, her fair robust body was
tanned in an unsexy way and she
seemed to have lost some flesh. I was
just watching her as she came into my
room, too dumbfounded to even
welcome her.
She came and stood staring at me, we
stared at each other for sometime
before she walked up to me on the bed
and dropped herself on my laps.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
she asked me.
“I just noticed that you look like
Roseline.”
Roseline was their very slim fitted
house girl, not that she wasn’t fine, in
fact the slim fit was actually good on
her just that I am so much into asses.
“Really? Is that a good thing?” she
asked looking at me.
“Naza, there is nothing good about it, if
I wanted to date a tiny girl I would be
with your house girl, not you, in short
sit down first. I’m coming.”
She sat on the bed and I went outside
in search of shape and James. I
badged into shapes room and met her
in her bras and pants. If she wasn’t a
virgin, I would have been thanking God
her sister wasn’t around.
“Dress up and follow me,” I commanded
and she eyed me suspiciously, not
minding her outfit and my constant
stares at her well rounded ass and
boobs.
“Any problem?”
“Wear something first or can you follow
me like that?”
She rolled her eyes at me and flipped
on her gown. We went into James room
and he was snoring away his life. I beat
him up and dragged him along with
Shape to my room.
Chinaza stared at us curiously as we
came in. I made them stand and
observe her for sometime, glances were
flying from everywhere to me.
“Can’t you guys see?” I shouted in
frustration.
“See what?” Shape asked staring at me.
“Oh, Naza came, we can see that,”
James replied, scratching his head.
“Guy don’t be silly, can’t you see how
thin she is looking.”
James searched her with his eyes and
nodded.
“Yes, maybe she wants to be a model.”
Shape was entirely indifferent. Chinaza
made me sit beside her on the bed.
James left while shape joined us on the
bed. I was preparing for a wonderful
3some in my mind but got something
else. Something I didn’t like one bit.
“Chi something happened.”
That was shape talking to me like I just
lost my wife and she was loaded with
the burden of giving me the news, well,
Naza was there so obviously, I hadn’t
lost my wife. Lol
“What happened?” I asked, sharing
glances between her and Naza.
“It’s chinaza, she fell sick last month,
that was before her birthday.”
“Why didn’t she say that when we came
for the party?” I asked trying to hide the
fear that was cropping up in my mind, I
was hoping and praying fervently that
she didn’t have HIV.
“Because it wasn’t serious then, so
telling you was unnecessary,” Naza
replied in a way that spooked me
seriously, you should see the look on
her face, real scary.
“So now what? Do you have HIV?” I
asked and she shot me a glance.
“No I don’t,” she retorted and eyed me
suspiciously ” Chinecherem, do you
have?”
“Of course not, where will I get it when
you don’t have.”
Well, She went to the hospital, I
followed her actually,” shape continued.
“Ehee,” I was getting impatient.
“And tests were done,” shape said
slowly, my suspension reaching it’s
zenith. Does she have cancer? If so, I
was hoping it wasn’t cancer of the
pussy or breast.
“I am pregnant,” Chinaza cried out
eventually. If she had said cancer of
the pussy and breast at the same time,
I would have preferred it.
My mind rushed back to the previous
year, yea, when we all fell sick and she
came back with the pregnancy joke. My
mind clicked, yea, the date was April
5th. I smiled and looked at the two of
them. I caught them in time. My racing
heart slowed down a bit.
“Baby, it’s April 5th today, your joke
came late,” I said, grabbing her hand,
she flipped my hands away and sniffed.
“I am not joking, I am pregnant,
bleeping pregnant Chinecherem.”
Like she was crying and her beautiful
light face was red. She obviously
wasn’t joking so the April fool thing
was a sham.
“For who?”
Jeez, I didn’t even know when I asked
her that, the look she gave me was out
of this world. I half prayed for her to
say it’s James or Shape, YES! Shape!!
anybody but me!!!
“Don’t you dare ask me that again,” she
almost yelled out. Obviously, it was me.
The room went dark and my head was
spinning 360 degrees, I could hear
Nigerian police siren blasting in my ear,
my right early only, my left ear wasn’t
even hearing any sound.
I stood up from the bed and made my
way to James room. I didn’t even know
how I managed to get there because I
wasn’t even seeing the road at all.
“Guy what’s up?” James asked as I
walked in, he was leaning over his plate
of over soaked garri.
“I don’t know guy, Shape and.. and
Chinaza, they are in my room,” I was
stuttering as I spoke.
“Yes, I know they are in your room, what
happened? Are they doing lezzy?”
“No, Naza was saying something, errm,
she was saying something about
something, James I don’t know,” I
Stopped and took a deep breath while
James watched me like I was doing a
Basket Mouth something.
“Just go in there and find out what
Naza was saying, then come back and
tell me because I didn’t even
understand what she told me.”
“Ok, I will go, but don’t touch my garri,”
he warned and left, if only he knew that
the garri looked like poo to me at that
moment.
I crashed on the bed and gazed at the
roof. My mother’s favorite advice to my
brother and I was banging hard against
my head.
“Umu m, any man that a woman doesn’t
kill will surely live out his God allotted
time on earth.”
But It’s Chinaza, my only true Love, she
can’t kill me.
My head was popping like pop corns as
I sat there, imagining how I will break
the news to my people.
My Mom will just shout the living
daylight out of me. I don’t know what
my father will do.
James came back looking more
confused than I was.
“Guy what was she saying?” I asked
him.
“That she is pregnant for you and she
wasn’t joking o.”
“Guy is that even possible? I mean are
you sure I am not impotent?”
Anything that would null and void the
possibility of my being the owner of the
pregnancy was welcomed. James just
looked at me like I was going mad.
“Wetin you mean, guy you are potent in
Jesus name.”
“Amen but guy, do you think the
something is mine?”
” It should be naa, I think you are the
only one bleeping her.”
We both sat on the bed, staring away.
“Maybe you should call Williams,”
James suggested and I nodded, that
was the most coded thing to do.
“I have to get my phone, it’s in my
room.”
I opened the curtains to my room and
peeped in, I was obviously expecting
Naza to grin at me and say it was all a
prank but she didn’t, she was sitting on
the bed with Shape, staring at the TV,
she had stopped crying.
“What do you want to do now?” I asked
her as I got to her on the bed. She
looked at me and shook her head.
“I don’t know.”
I stared at her for a few seconds, she
returned my stares and her
countenance changed.
“No way, I am not aborting him.”
I was yet to find out how she keeps
reading my mind through my eyes.
“I wasn’t saying that.”
“But you were thinking it, please I won’t
abort him.”
“Him? You already know it’s a boy?”
Something was telling me that she was
enjoying the whole pregnant something.
Shape was having the laugh of her life
at the side.
She just let out a weak smile and threw
herself into my hands while I called
Williams.
“Hello, young man, how are you?” Willy
bassed into my ears.
“Guy I no dy, you fit enter my lodge?”
“Ermm, wetin happen, you give woman
belle?”
That was funny.
“Yes, I give woman belle, abeg come
tomorrow.”
He laughed, he probably thought I was
joking.
“See you and your impotent prick, I dy
come tomorrow.”
We dropped the phone and I wished I
was impotent. Lol
Life of a fucker . Episode 37
My brother looked even more confused
than James was the day I was
mumbling about what Naza told me .
The look on Willy ’ s face was to die for ,
as in , it can kill you. If not for the cute
face and the neat beards, you would
have called him an slowpoke.
“What are even saying ? That Chinaza is
sick and went to the hospital , so? She
is here naa and she is not dead . ”
“Bro I am trying to say that she is
pregnant, ” I said and expected him to
place both his hands on his head. He
merely smiled.
“Congratulations dear, ” he was referring
to Chinaza. “ I hope the guy responsible
is going to marry you before the sign
turns up . ”
Chinaza merely shook her head, she
knew Willy was a clown most of the
time .
“Bro, the baby is mine , ” I said it slowly ,
avoiding eye contact . The whole room
went silent . For about 5 seconds
nobody spoke.
I thought my brother was burning me
up with his eyes only to look up and
see him staring sheepishly at shape
who was at the door .
I just weak for my family .
I slapped his knee and he turned to me
sharply.
“What were you saying ?”
“I was saying that Chinaza is pregnant
for me and that girl at the door is a
virgin. ”
His eyes bulged , I didn ’t know what
made them bulge , whether it was the
pregnancy or the Virgin ish . Unwanted
pregnancy to Willie was bad news and
hooking up with a Virgin was worst. He
refers to it as a worthless relationship .
Chinaza stood up and left with Shape.
Willie was just engaged in an eye
contest with me .
“Jeez , Chex , I have been in this game
for 100 years before they gave birth to
you and yet no Bleep ups , how could
you have been so careless ?”
“I don ’ t know o bro . It just happened , I
don’ t even know what to do . ”
He was giving me that look that
unlocks the tear gland in a man , the
look that usually says , “ Bro you Bleep
up and you are finished at the same
time ”.
“What do we do now ?” I I asked and he
pulled closer to me on the bed .
“Did you tell her of abortion?”
I looked at him and shook my head .
“She didn ’t even wait for the suggestion ,
she just change am for me when she
suspected that I will bring it up . ”
“Guy serious Bleep up . ”
“Yea , Dad will just throw me over the
balcony , ” I murmured, shedding internal
tears .
“No he won ’ t ,” he replied .
“You sure ?”
“Yea , he said he no longer needs stress
with his children . ”
“Thank God ,” I said and heaved a sigh
of relief .
“Yes , he is only going to shoot you, he
just bought a pump action . ”
Willie was wicked in a sort, he just
dropped it casually like shooting
someone was the same thing as
flogging him .
“See what we are going to do now , ” he
started and I paid rapt attention , hoping
he wasn’ t going to misyarn.
“Yes ?”
We will go to Dad’ s office. ”
“What for ?”
“Listen now , abi do you prefer going
home first where both him and mom
will jointly roast you like roadside
maize?”
I shook my head , I had better go with
his plan, he was the next man after my
father and I believed he controlled some
authority.
“We will settle with dad , then we get
home, he can help us fix mum . ”
“Yea , you made sense. ”
I always knew Willie was a great asset .
“We will talk to Rita too , she will help
us . ”
“Rita will Finish me naa , ” I protested .
“Yes but she will also help , just relax ,
you only got her pregnant , you didn’ t
kill her. ”
I fell back on the bed and hissed . I
knew pussy was going to kill me one
day but I never expected it to be
Chinaza’ s own .
“So when are we going to see Dad?” I
asked getting up from the bed.
“After I get this girl that just left with
Naza . ”
He was devouring the only star in my
fridge .
“She is a virgin bro . ”
He smiled at me and nodded.
“I have readjusted my standards , I am
the new Isreal. ”
“Israel kwa?”
He nodded again and smiled.
“I will tear down that wall of Jericho. ”
I sighed and fell back on the bed . The
next picture on my mind was me and
shape on the bed after Willie must have
opened her. Jeez , I swear I will be the
worst father on earth.
He stood up from the chair and walked
outside , probably after shape . He hadn ’ t
been gone for more than 30 seconds
before Chinaza bursted into my room ,
holding his hand , against his wish.
“Are you guys done?” she asked me as
I stared at them . I nodded and she
made Willie take a sit .
“Now , lets discuss about my own
issue. ”
“What issue?” Willie asked.
“My family , how will I tell them about
it?”
“It ’ s very easy , you just walk up to them
and yarn them what ’ s up. ”
That was Williams .
“Maybe you should help me , I will
appreciate , ” Chinaza replied him , rolling
her eyes .
“Have you told Chinelo ?” I asked and
she nodded .
“I told her when the result came out . ”
“What did she say?”
“That I am finished, ” she answered
casually . I had almost forgotten about
her parents .
“Fine , I will be there, maybe tomorrow ,
we will move from dad ’ s office to your
dad ’ s . ” I said and she put down her
head, sobbing without tears .
“What now ?” I asked.
“God I am finished. My Mom thinks I
am still a virgin . ”
I don ’ t know why I didn ’ t laugh at that ,
it was damn funny .
Williams took us out in the evening,
Me , Chinaza, James and Shape .
Somehow , my brother meandered his
way into shapes cubicle , shape was all
over him in the end . That boy is a
magician .
It was at the peak of the moment that I
learnt Shape’ s real name was Chinaza.
I am as amazed as you are .
For a moment , everything seemed
normal , Chinaza’ s pregnancy was
thrown to the background while we had
the fun of our lives . Willie had come
with mom ’ s car and so it was a little
high key .
I spent the rest of the night
prophesying my undying love for
Chinaza. I was drunk and high but she
wouldn’ t bulge , she needed no second
pregnancy and when the chips were
down . It turned out that Shape was
never a virgin, maybe her asshole is
still sealed but her pussy was as open
as the temple .
I was only pained at what I had missed
for almost a year .
Stupid little things can go a long way in influencing a big part of our lives. So me and Chinaza decided we needed minor break. Funny thing was this was coming not up to a month after I had pledged to love her until Christ’s second coming. The cause of the break up was something as insignificant as I love you. I don’t usually like chatting with her on whatsapp because we always end up fighting, so whatever we want to say each, we do it over phone calls and that’s it. On a day like this, i decided to compliment a picture she uploaded on her whatsapp profile where she wore a cloth that brought out that perfect shape in her, her ass protruding and boobs standing like Kilimanjaro. I must confess she looked awesome in it, all thanks to her beauty and curves plus camera360 and picsart. So i chatted her up. We talked, i asked her if I could hold her waist, she sent a smiley and said its mine. Well we got kinky, everything we usually did in my room, on my bed, we did it there on whatsapp, we didn’t exchange pics shaa, i don’t like the idea of seeing things that i can’t actually access. Well our chat was wonderful for a very long time, i was just conscious of the point where we get to argue but it didn’t come, surprisingly, the chat was about to end on a good note. We both got tired and decided to go to bed, we both said Goodnights and just then, it came.
“I love you baby” i said abi texted
“love you too” she replied
“Put ‘I’ there ” i said
” How?” she asked
“Say i love you too and not love you too”
“Hian, biko take it like that”
“No, you gats to put it for me to know it came from your heart, that love you too isn’t romantic enough”
“neche if you can’t take that one, leave it”.
For no reason, i was getting angry at this little drama, she too wasn’t helping matters. Naza was bad mouthed and also bad fingered. Well we argued and i insisted on the ‘I’ before love you and she too stuck to her high horse. In the end, i told her that if she didn’t comply with my demands then the relationship will have to be in traffic jam for the time being. Well Naza being who she was, she just said ok. Our chat ended and our affair too. I wanted to teach her a lesson, i wanted her to miss me, maybe then she will come to harken to all my demands. Well shaa, it turned out that i was the one being taught the lesson, i don’t know if she missed me or not but i know i so much wanted her to come and say sorry so we can continue but then, naza decided to teach me lessons.
Early the next day, i switched on my data and ran straight to her whatsapp contact, found her online, a look at her profile again made me want to end the quarrel but i wasn’t prepared for the heaps of laughter she would drop on me. Hmmm, pride was just about to destroy my relationship gan.
I was really moody for days, yes, our beef lasted for days. And in my mind, i was considering that some one must have made naza realize how beautiful she was for her to be doing shakara for me like that. She obviously didn’t tell shape about it and i also didn’t want to tell her. Well shaa, i can’t come and die over Chinaza when i have Eva and others to think about. Crazy Eva, she came back to school three good weeks after resumption. We shaa, i missed her and she missed me too. She told me for the first time in her life, she had made a new year resolution. She was going to upgrade from being my bang mate to my girlfriend, now that was funny but the other funniest part was that she had declared no sex for us until she had accomplished her aim. Now that was some sick poo. So who do i run to? Shape is a virgin, Cynthia is the devil’s personal assistant, Jennifer was, well anyway, i wont even let her number step foot in my contact talk more of she herself into my room. So this was my case.
“i thought you loved blowjobs” i asked Eva the day she came to my room.
“Your sperm is not sweet, i don’t love blowjobs, i just love you and the Mouth Gig was a package that came along with it” she said as she did her best not to get entangled with me, she was practically brushing my hands off. Hmmmm, Evangeline was brushing my hands off and i thought this year was going to be an interesting one. Now see, Eva was a beautiful girl, undoubtedly, the type that you would like to introduce to every one you know but then again, i already have everything i want in her in Chinaza, though she could be more hardcore but then, you can never manage the two of them at a time, you will just wake up one day and die away. I thought we were both content with the our affair of fuckery until she told me about her new year resolution. The offer was more than tempting but then, the Apple Eve ate was also tempting.
We spent that day dragging on and on, i gave her a thousand reasons why our present arrangement was the best and she gave me a million reasons why we shouldn’t be fuvking when we are not dating. Shaa shaa, she went home and the only thing she gave me was a hug that lasted only 5 seconds. Immediately she left, an idea struck me, i picked my whatsapp and updated my profile picture with a very sexy, Seductive picture of Eva, i was hoping she would see it and At least let me have a little poke, even if she doesn’t let me cum inside her, at least, i can manage. 3 minutes after I uploaded the picture, my whatsapp notification binged, i checked and got a real shocker, a positive shocker.
“I love you too”. That was the message and it was from Chinaza. Hehehe, chinaza have finally mellowed.
“Hmmm, for real?” i sent to her.
“Yes, i’m sorry” she texted.
“Ok, thank God you finally get small sense” i said and added a smiling emoticon
“Thank you, can you now remove that picture before i get annoyed”.
I should have known. Lolol.
Life of a fucker. Episode 33.
You are plus one today, that’s a plus to your your age, a plus to your wisdom, to your intelligence, to your brilliance, to your sexiness, to your hips, ass and boobs and a plus to everything good and sexy in your life, may your birthday bring great Joy that will surprise even you into your life. My star, my moon, my baby mama, my headache and my soft mattress, happy birthday”
There is only one person in this world that i can send this type of message to. You are free to guess.
I made sure I woke her up with it, i wanted mine to be the first message she will receive on her birthday otherwise it may mean a one month long fight between us.
Her reply came in few seconds after I sent the message. She called shaa, apparently my text had woken her up. The sleep was still all over her voice but she was excited.
“Baby, I love you so so much much sugar, muaah!!” that was a kiss
“Haa, easy o before you give me diabetes, happy birthday sweetheart”
“Thanks baby, I love you”.
“I know, so who’s taking you out?”
“Are you not coming? ”
“Come where?”
“My lodge nah, Neche you have to come o, its my birthday, your baby’s birthday” she stressed that baby and birthday and my brain translated it to “come and spend money”
“Your birthday and then? Is it Christ’s birthday abi Christmas that i will visit you?”
“Hmmm, Neche even on my birthday, you want to start quarrel?maybe you think I will fight with you and then you can dodge giving me my gifts, lie lie, I will fight with you today, tomorrow you will bring me my gift o”. I only smiled, she don catch me like that. Shaa I was planning to pay her a surprise visit but on a low key. I will just go there, chop food, chop her and go back to my house, I have done enough fasting and needed to flex my muscle.
“Bae chillax naa, we will see later but not today” I said
“Why naa, it’s not fair o, if its other girls now”
“Ehe, if it’s other girls?”
“I don’t know, Just don’t talk to me again if you don’t visit me today, imagine, you have not even been to my lodge for once, to see how I am coping, if I am fine or not”
“If you are not fine, come down to my place. In fact i don’t blame you, na me send you text message ” I said and gave her a 200km hiss.
“Neche am sorry, please come naa, I want to see you, eh biko”
“I’m not coming, I don’t have transport money, happy birthday and goodbye”.
The call ended like that, none of us usually took the fights to heart as it was a normal thing. I manage to pull myself up from the bed and brushed my teeth before I forgot. Dressed up my room and went outside.
“Good morning sweetheart”. That was chinenye greeting me, she was one of the curve queens in our lodge, her face normally looked better when she had make up on than when it was bare, but she fine to an extent shaa tbh. So since her face was bare, I just fixed my gaze on her boobs.
“Baby wassup naa”
“I’m sharp”
“I can see that ” I said eyeing her all over and spiritually licking my lips.
“Its like your body is still asleep” I said shifting my gaze back to her boobs.
“How?”
“Your breast, they are lying down on your singlet, wake them up”.
She hit me with the towel she was holding and burst into laughter. I shaa adjusted the singlet for her and ran into James room. I met the nigga lying on the floor fast asleep. I walked up to him and beat him up.
“Nna guy what naa, someone can not sleep for you again even on Saturday ” he protested rubbing his eyes.
” Mumu today is Friday, I just need one thing from you”
“What? ”
That flower your babe gave you for your birthday”
“what for?”
“I want to give it to Naza for her birthday, I hope the scent is still there? ”
” Oh, today is her birthday”
“Yes, where is the flower abeg?”
“Erm check the wardrobe “.
I got the flower, a red one, the smell was still partially there but it wasn’t much.
” You body odour is already smelling all over it” I said looking down at him. He gave me one kind look that made me correct my statement. “Don’t worry, I can manage it”.
“One more thing” I said pocketing the flower.
“What is it? ”
” The birthday wishes card she also gave you”
“Noo, that one is specially made for me, She will ask for it one day and i can’t give it to you”
“James please naa, remember I once gave you Chinaza’s bumshort to give to your babe as a gift” I said hiding a smile, he eyed me and smiled.
“Oya carry microphone and tell everybody naa, get it from my locker”.
I was able to dig up the card, it had a beautiful design and the message was just perfect for my baby.
“How will you change the name on it?” James asked
“Don’t worry, Just watch me”.
After over 15 minutes of cutting and designing bits and pieces of paper, I was able to cover the names on the card and wrote mine on it. My next stop was in shapes room. She was on a cotton short nicker and a top that looked like a bra and a singlet. It showed her stomach and her boobs too. I would have been distracted but I was there for serious business, besides anytime I set my eyes on shape, the first thing that comes into my mind is Virgin.
“The sexiest virgin alive” I hailed her as I got into her room.
“Hey, sweetheart”
“How was your night?”
“Cute, yours? ”
” Fine o, Just this cold and loneliness”. She smiled and eyed me naughtilly.
“Hope you have wished Naza a happy birthday?”
“It was the first thing I did today and that is also why I am here”
“Tell me about it”
“Well first one, can i have your powder?”.
“Ok”. Her powder smelled absolutely nice so all I did was take out the rose flower, sprinkle the powder on it while Shape watched like I was doing a merlin something. I managed to get the flower to smell like the powder, it was a lovely one and shape laughed at my ingenuity. What else can a broke lover boy like me do?.
“Now onto the next one” I said and shape looked at me in a really sweet way and my mind yelled, Virgin!
“Ermmm, shape, do you have a new pant or bra that you are not using?”. Hahaha, now, that was supposed to be a joke but i was serious in a way.
“Why?” she asked Giving me a puzzled look.
“I want to add it to a list of Naza’s birthday presents”
“But me and her don’t wear the same size naa, I’m bigger than her” she said and that was true, Naza was the hour glass type of girl but everything was moderate in a sexy kinda way, but shape, men she was just shape.
“Don’t worry, the tailor will slim fit it” I said and we both burst into laughter.
So with everything set, I was ready to drop in on Naza like a nuclear bomb, her presents were lined up on my bed according to heights. The card, the flower and a bottle of red wine, borrowed from a lodge mate. I had promised to return it to him once I get back, Naza hated red wine and I was sure she wouldn’t drink it but at least she would acknowledge that I bought WINE even though it wasn’t her type but then, I can always say I forgot that she hated it. Shape was going to accompany me, I don’t know who was going to pay for the transportation but then, I know that the Lord will always be Good. 11am on the dot, I was preparing to take my bath when my door opened.
“Shape, its stilll early naa, I thought we agreed 1pm” I said facing the T.v.
“Hello” a totally different, Seductive and hypertension reducing voice called out. I jerked up and took a look in the direction of the door. I didn’t know whether to be angry or smile at her. She just stood there in all her beauty and curvature, her skintight mini gown x-raying her body, her face looking better than it was the last she had visited, her her curves were sharper than a French curve abi bending corner. She was a heavy, the Mercy Johnson kind of heavy. The moment I set my eyes on Cynthia at my door, I knew Chinaza’s birthday was about to be relegated to the background.
Life of a fucker. Episode 34.
If you thought I was ever going to miss My baby’s birthday just because Cynthia dropped her bad ass in my room that fateful day, well, you would have thought right and if you thought I wasn’t going to miss Naza’s birthday for anything in the world, errrm, you should be right also.
Of the above two school of thoughts, the later was more applicable, I so much wanted to stay back and sample what Cynthia had brought for me, that was me, if it’s cute and shapy and wears a skirt, I’m in. But then, Shape wasn’t ready for that and besides, she had to protect the interest of her dearly beloved friend.
“Cynthia,” I had sang out the very moment she walked into my room, all thick with her endowments. She would have been very muscular if she was a man. She gave me that look that would knock any man out and make any flaccid dick do a dab. As I sat there, the Cynthia I saw was far from the devil I had always tagged her to be, you couldn’t find any better definition for a perfect angel, only that she wasn’t fair or had wings.
“Baby,” she muttered, walking up to me on the bed and drawing me into her thick, sweet, seductive perfume. She sat besides me, her boobs all over me like the anointing was on the disciples on the day of Pentecost.
“You never told me your were coming.” I managed to say amidst the whole excitement.
“You would have told me not to come.” she replied, dropping her head on my shoulder.
“I missed you,” she whispered and dropped her hand on my bare laps, just below my boxers.
“You missed me abi you missed the banging.”
She laughed and withdrew her hand.
“I missed everything.” she replied. I turned to face her and God was I tempted. I imagined the about 30 minutes fun that would happen if I was to get down with this fine lady and compared it with the days of unlimited tongue lashing that would happen if I happened to miss Chinaza’s birthday. My mind told me it wasn’t worth it but the flesh was weak all through. My body was going to be disappointed in me if I missed this opportunity of sampling this girl again after a very long time.
“So what did you bring for me?”, I asked, trying to cover up all the dirty thoughts going on in my mind.
“See me here, am I not enough?” she asked, giving me a suggestive smile.
“You what? You want to come and forget something again abi?” I asked and she burst into laughter.
“How is your baby? Are you still together?” she asked maybe expecting a no. She was disappointed shaa but that didn’t stop her from stealing a kiss. A kiss I willingly allowed her to steal. We adjusted ourselves on the bed for a little romance, as e dy hot. My lips found its way to hers and we kissed explosively, kissing each other out of breath, my hands were already on their ways to her zipper, yapping at her bra strap at the same time, the bra snapped first and the load of her massive jugs fell on her clothes. I moved my lips down to her nape and my left hand involuntarily found its way to her mass of fleshy breasts.
It had been a long time since I last got some action and my body reflected it so much. One thing to the other and we were both on the bed, a few inches to being fully unclad. My fingers were already penetrating her wet coochie while my fully erect peni were protesting to take their rightful place, she moaned softly to my touches and held my near exploding dick with her hands, trying to dislodge it. I tugged and pulled at her panties and she held my hands to my surprise. I gave her a look that portrayed all the vexation I was going to heap on her if she dared stopped what she had started. She merely smiled and nodded towards the door.
“Lock your door please,” she said and I jerked up from her, shooting my gaze towards the open door.
“Ok, the door,” I replied and got up from the bed, adjusting my boxers and heading towards the door, I waved the curtains aside and Shape was there, staring at my awkwardly elongated boxers.
“Shape!” I snapped, staring at her.
“Chinecherem!” she called back, her eyes still fixed on my erected dick.
“Must you come now?” I asked with frustration all over my voice, disregarding her attention towards the lower part of my body, after all she was a virgin, what does she know about it all.
“How do you mean?” she asked with a wicked grin on her face.
“I have a guest baby, could you wait a little while before coming back?” I pleaded.
“It depends,” she replied.
“On what?”
“Whether your visitor is male or female.”
“Male ko? Male and my something is rising like this, do I look “Gayish” to you?”
“So it’s a female then?” she asked trying not to break into a laughter.
“Yes naa, and I need to sort out something with her before everything goes cold.”
I was really trying hard not to yell.
“I’m not coming back anything, I am going in there with you now.”
“Shape please, you know we love each other.”
She nodded and smiled.
“That’s why I am trying to protect you dear.”
“Protect me? You are frustrating me joor.” I said getting really annoyed that I was losing my attention.
We dragged on, back and forth and in the end, shape found her way into my room, spoiling my fun. By the time we both got back in, Cynthia was already dressed and that added to all my anger.
” Oya go and bath dear, you don’t want to be late for Naza’s birthday, trust me,” she said with a tone of feminine domination. I eyed her and hissed.
Soon she was already conversing with Cynthia while I grudgingly made my way to the bathroom, I was visibly annoyed at everything, the shower, the water, the soap, the sponge, even my own dick was annoyed at me.
“Shape had it been you weren’t a virgin, I would have bleeped the both of you right there.” I murmured angrily.
I soon finished and got out of the bathroom, Shape and Cynthia were busy with the TV and chatting away when I got out. I eyed her again and turned my face towards Cynthia.
“Cynthia, you can do anything with her,” I pointed at Shape and continued “but don’t be friends please.”
Shape laughed and Cynthia smiled.
“Why?” she asked
“Because it will be an infringement on some of my interests, just don’t be friends with her abeg.”
The two of then burst into laughter. It puzzled me how Cynthia wasn’t even angry at Shape for disrupting our little fun, well shaa, girls and their ways.
I managed to change, away from their prying eyes and trust me, it wasn’t easy at all. Shape never for once took her eyes off and Cynthia took occasional glances.
2pm and were already on our way out, I, Shape and Cynthia. We got to where we had to pick a bus, Cynthia bade us farewell and dropped a simmering hot hug on me, one that let my body x-ray hers. As she walked away from us, all protruding parts of her body shook and my dick nodded in unison.
“That was what you made me miss.” I said and pinched Shape at her back. She winced and slapped my arm off.
“Don’t worry, Chinaza will compensate you for that.”
“I’m always telling you, they are not the same.”
“Which is better, she or Naza?”
“Don’t ask me,” I replied.
She laughed and rubbed my hand in a way that I couldn’t help but smile.
You needed to see how Chinaza threw herself at me when we got to her lodge. If I hadn’t eaten, I would have landed on the ground. She was all over me, showing me off to her lodge mates in a way that got me wondering if she thought I was some celebrity.
The sweet aroma of fried rice ushered us into her room. Funny enough, that was my first time of ever visiting her. The room was up to her standard as a girl. The room was very feminine in a an appealing way and I loved it.
The pot of rice soon got down from the fire, we sang a happy birthday song, I presented my borrowed gifts which she loved so much and never hid that fact, she returned the favor with loads of kisses and sweet names calling. I flashed the “Borrowed Bottle of Red Wine” in her face and dropped it by the bed. Apparently she hated red wines and wasn’t going to drink it. I brought it for that purpose though, because I was going to return it to the owner, I don’t have 5k to lavish on colored alcoholic water when Heineken and Smirn Off is always available.
Well, the music came on and she twerked to her birthday, she had the floor alone for sometime before Shape joined her and then her other sexy lodge mates. She twerked on me and I praised God that I didn’t miss this birthday for anything. Her happiness made me happy and the coming night looked so promising, if you know what I mean. The power of alcohol could never be over estimated, Not even the devil could keep me away from shape’s backside, I tapped all the blessings and kept it for myself alone. Her female lodge mates weren’t spared too, it was a rocking spree and I immersed myself fully in in it. The other guys couldn’t keep away from shape, I didn’t like it and wished I had brought James along, he would have handled shape and kept her away from those scavengers. We danced and danced, got more drunk and danced more. Had it been possible, I don’t who would have done it but I was sure one person between Chinaza and I, would have swallowed the other. Only then did I realize how much I had missed my baby. Maybe the booze in my system opened my eyes to that fact. She was so beautiful as she sweated from the rigorous twisting and shaking of her body and assets.
And when the time came, remember that borrowed bottle of wine? The one of “FIVE THOUSAND NAIRA”, the one I was planning to return? Yes, that particular one,
Chinaza “Popped” it!
Life of a fucker. Episode 35.
I think it’s time someone told these girls that even though boys will always be boys, they will always have someone special. And if he tells you that you are the one, do not stress it, because even though he may be lying, it could also be the truth. What am I saying sef, I’m even confusing myself.
Yes, because we are very likely to sleep with everything on skirt as long as it’s not underaged (underage turns some people on tho), and it’s got a big backside (my favorite), it simply does not mean we are madly in love with them, we will always reserve that special part of us for our special one, it could be true that the special one is you, it could also be false.
And apart from the ass, we do appreciate a great face because when we are over the the table with our friends, sharing some alcohol, we can’t possibly tell her to stand up so we can introduce her and her ass to our friends, it’s the face that gets all the attention. So no need fussing all over the place because your boo is hitting on a girl with some ass when you have the better face.
That was how Chinaza was bringing the roof down on me because Cynthia forgot her g-string in my room, ehen? So what? It’s only at this moment that whenever I remember that almost forgotten saga, I go gaga.
Although I don’t tell it to her that I’m mad over it, hehehe, if it was you, will you tell?
Now to the main thing..
Me and Chinaza decided we needed another little quarrel, don’t ask me why, I would have willingly told you if I remembered, it wasn’t about the wine she popped, it was actually over something insignificant, that wine wasn’t insignificant.
Meanwhile, our lodge borehole just went amok, it suddenly started running 24 hours a day, open or closed, the water just kept turning up like olamide’s turn up, our lodge almost experienced a mini flooding until unexpectedly, the water stopped. That was the beginning of water scarcity in our lodge.
We all sat at home, expecting the landlord to shake body, when the thing Clear us for eye was when we saw her daughter, Ngozi, a 16 year old unusually endowed girl, mind you, I’m not eyeing her, she is beautiful but I wasn’t eyeing her.
As I was saying, when we saw her pushing her brand new wheelbarrow to the public tap some distance away from our lodge, that was when it dawned on us that salvation was a little far away.
That morning, I was tired of wooing shape to get me a gallon of water each time, shape needed a new wooing for every favor you would like to ask her. I decided to follow her to the tap before preparing for school, I needed water for that purpose.
We walked abi dragged ourselves to the tap, shape caused heart attacks as she strode besides me, clad in her singlet that was lifting her boobs like a weightlifter, the boobs peeped over the top of the singlet in an enticing way. Her bumshots lapped to her laps and jingled each step she took.
Depending on how fast you walk, the journey from our lodge to the public tap takes around 3 minutes, well, me and shape, it took us 10 minutes. Trust me, you can’t be walking with Shape and like to walk fast, not when your left hand is clutching a gallon and your right hand clutching her booty. With her, you just can never get enough, if I can’t get down on that ass, I might as well rub off some blessings from it and she doesn’t mind.
Our entourage arrived at the pump and the queue there wasn’t just mad, it was raving. Shape took both our gallons and added it to the queue. I moved my self to a corner and made a sit out of piles of stone, just a little close to the lines of gallons. My phone was at home and there was nothing else I could do but sample the various types of assorted figures and shapes that came to fetch water.
I was doing just fine until one lady got closer to where I was, one fine plump lady with a booty that can back two 3 year old children effortlessly, that kind of booty that when you climb it, you will just hang on it and it wouldn’t bulge. She stole my attention from the rest, I even forgot about shape for a while where she was chatting away with some girls and drawing attention from the sex starved guys that littered the place.
The fair lady came closer to where I was and bent low, right in front of me to screw tight the cover of her gallon. She made it look like a tough job and spent a considerable amount of time on it, worst still, she faced me while she was at it and her robust boobs that had no iota of stretch mark dangled and smiled at me through the neck of her blouse. My mischievous dick was already dangling along and I positioned and repositioned myself to avoid getting caught.
I must have been so engrossed in watching something that I can’t access that I didn’t notice when shaped came to where I sat and nearly shoved me off my make shift chair with her booty.
“Neche, I hope you know she is someone’s wife?” she whispered to me.
“Did I say I was looking at her?” I protested and she laughed.
“If you were not looking at her then how did you know who I was talking about?”
I swear shape is 30 percent beautiful and the other percent troublesome.
“I accept, I was looking, now can you let me look in peace after all you won’t allow me look at your own.”
She laughed and got up, shoved my head and went back to fetch our gallons, to my relief. But then, it was too late. The woman had already covered her gallon of water.
We fetched our gallons and I had to take the two of them, mine and hers, home. I was playing the superman while the only reward she gave me was chat away the remaining strength I had after carrying 2 jellycan’s of water.
I dragged my jellycan of water into my corridor and dropped it there, a very pleasant surprise awaited me as I bounced into my room.
Eva was there on my bed, relaxed like she was the one that paid that year’s rent for me and watching the T. V.
“Hey baby!” she screamed in a girly way when she saw me. She actually jumped on me from the bed. That girl is just too beautiful for my liking. As I held her up, packing up her ass with my arms and looking up at her face in the air, I just prayed shape wouldn’t intrude like she was notorious for.
I dropped her and the proper hugging commenced, that moment a nicki minaj replica would drop all her details on you and all your hormones would rush in affirmation that she was indeed hot. If only she knew what she did to me then.
“Neche did you forget me?” she asked.
“How can I? Is that one even possible?”
I was rubbing her body, trying to make my point clear, I don’t know if she was aware of what I missed about her, I just know that I needed that body very much, I could manage without the head.
She seemed to have forgotten about the condition she gave me before we could sex up again, the condition that it would only happen if we started dating.
Locking my door was the first priority then I flipped my shirt to where I didn’t know. I kept her pant carefully by the side though. Then our pre-intimacy began, she was always ahead of me in that aspect. Before I could drop properly on the bed, she was already on my dick, hounding on it. I pulled her up from there, I had better ideas.
I grabbed her lips with mine and licked it dry and then went for her rounded boobs, unpacking them from her bra and handling the Tips like they were some radio tuner. I massage the massive jugs and my dick went harder while she moaned and called my name in a way that turned me on the more.
My adventurous fingers found it’s way down to her belly button and screeched to a brake at her coochie. They slopped down and went into the hole like some snake, she jerked and pinned my hand against her clit. I made a few thrusts with my fingers and would have replaced them with my dick if my phone didn’t ring.
We both peeped at the screen of my phone, probably to find out the intruder that was trying to mess up this lovely moment. Chinaza’s picture came up on the caller screen. I had to pick because she could give you 20 missed calls and still continue.
“So this is how you are, eh Chinecherem?” she shouted on the phone.
“Chinaza how am I?”
“Just because of a little quarrel, you decide you won’t call me again abi?”
“Shebi you said I shouldn’t call your phone again?”
“You didn’t even ask if I was joking,” she replied and I smiled.
“So you are missing me?” I asked.
“No I’m not, I’m on my way to your lodge shaa, that’s why I called you, keep something for me.”
The phone went dead before my brain could process the information she just dropped. On her way to my lodge could be that she was at the gate or already at my door.
Dj Khalid’s [h2]ANOTHER ONE[/h2] kept ringing in my head. I was about to get caught again and I didn’t even enjoy anything.
Eva just stared at me, she probably heard the call. Her problem wasn’t that she was on her way over, her problem was that she just remembered the condition she gave me before we could have sex again and the fact that my girl just called in the middle of our fun wasn’t helping matters.
She left before Naza came tho. But then, why was it hard for her to believe that she could be the one I’m really into? Although it was a lie, but how would she know.
And oh, I just remembered, the my quarrel with Naza was because she bluntly refused me a groupie with her friends on her birthday. I was drunk when I asked though.
But was that really insignificant?
Life of a fucker. Episode 36.
Chinaza came to my lodge looking so
unlike her, her fair robust body was
tanned in an unsexy way and she
seemed to have lost some flesh. I was
just watching her as she came into my
room, too dumbfounded to even
welcome her.
She came and stood staring at me, we
stared at each other for sometime
before she walked up to me on the bed
and dropped herself on my laps.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
she asked me.
“I just noticed that you look like
Roseline.”
Roseline was their very slim fitted
house girl, not that she wasn’t fine, in
fact the slim fit was actually good on
her just that I am so much into asses.
“Really? Is that a good thing?” she
asked looking at me.
“Naza, there is nothing good about it, if
I wanted to date a tiny girl I would be
with your house girl, not you, in short
sit down first. I’m coming.”
She sat on the bed and I went outside
in search of shape and James. I
badged into shapes room and met her
in her bras and pants. If she wasn’t a
virgin, I would have been thanking God
her sister wasn’t around.
“Dress up and follow me,” I commanded
and she eyed me suspiciously, not
minding her outfit and my constant
stares at her well rounded ass and
boobs.
“Any problem?”
“Wear something first or can you follow
me like that?”
She rolled her eyes at me and flipped
on her gown. We went into James room
and he was snoring away his life. I beat
him up and dragged him along with
Shape to my room.
Chinaza stared at us curiously as we
came in. I made them stand and
observe her for sometime, glances were
flying from everywhere to me.
“Can’t you guys see?” I shouted in
frustration.
“See what?” Shape asked staring at me.
“Oh, Naza came, we can see that,”
James replied, scratching his head.
“Guy don’t be silly, can’t you see how
thin she is looking.”
James searched her with his eyes and
nodded.
“Yes, maybe she wants to be a model.”
Shape was entirely indifferent. Chinaza
made me sit beside her on the bed.
James left while shape joined us on the
bed. I was preparing for a wonderful
3some in my mind but got something
else. Something I didn’t like one bit.
“Chi something happened.”
That was shape talking to me like I just
lost my wife and she was loaded with
the burden of giving me the news, well,
Naza was there so obviously, I hadn’t
lost my wife. Lol
“What happened?” I asked, sharing
glances between her and Naza.
“It’s chinaza, she fell sick last month,
that was before her birthday.”
“Why didn’t she say that when we came
for the party?” I asked trying to hide the
fear that was cropping up in my mind, I
was hoping and praying fervently that
she didn’t have HIV.
“Because it wasn’t serious then, so
telling you was unnecessary,” Naza
replied in a way that spooked me
seriously, you should see the look on
her face, real scary.
“So now what? Do you have HIV?” I
asked and she shot me a glance.
“No I don’t,” she retorted and eyed me
suspiciously ” Chinecherem, do you
have?”
“Of course not, where will I get it when
you don’t have.”
Well, She went to the hospital, I
followed her actually,” shape continued.
“Ehee,” I was getting impatient.
“And tests were done,” shape said
slowly, my suspension reaching it’s
zenith. Does she have cancer? If so, I
was hoping it wasn’t cancer of the
pussy or breast.
“I am pregnant,” Chinaza cried out
eventually. If she had said cancer of
the pussy and breast at the same time,
I would have preferred it.
My mind rushed back to the previous
year, yea, when we all fell sick and she
came back with the pregnancy joke. My
mind clicked, yea, the date was April
5th. I smiled and looked at the two of
them. I caught them in time. My racing
heart slowed down a bit.
“Baby, it’s April 5th today, your joke
came late,” I said, grabbing her hand,
she flipped my hands away and sniffed.
“I am not joking, I am pregnant,
bleeping pregnant Chinecherem.”
Like she was crying and her beautiful
light face was red. She obviously
wasn’t joking so the April fool thing
was a sham.
“For who?”
Jeez, I didn’t even know when I asked
her that, the look she gave me was out
of this world. I half prayed for her to
say it’s James or Shape, YES! Shape!!
anybody but me!!!
“Don’t you dare ask me that again,” she
almost yelled out. Obviously, it was me.
The room went dark and my head was
spinning 360 degrees, I could hear
Nigerian police siren blasting in my ear,
my right early only, my left ear wasn’t
even hearing any sound.
I stood up from the bed and made my
way to James room. I didn’t even know
how I managed to get there because I
wasn’t even seeing the road at all.
“Guy what’s up?” James asked as I
walked in, he was leaning over his plate
of over soaked garri.
“I don’t know guy, Shape and.. and
Chinaza, they are in my room,” I was
stuttering as I spoke.
“Yes, I know they are in your room, what
happened? Are they doing lezzy?”
“No, Naza was saying something, errm,
she was saying something about
something, James I don’t know,” I
Stopped and took a deep breath while
James watched me like I was doing a
Basket Mouth something.
“Just go in there and find out what
Naza was saying, then come back and
tell me because I didn’t even
understand what she told me.”
“Ok, I will go, but don’t touch my garri,”
he warned and left, if only he knew that
the garri looked like poo to me at that
moment.
I crashed on the bed and gazed at the
roof. My mother’s favorite advice to my
brother and I was banging hard against
my head.
“Umu m, any man that a woman doesn’t
kill will surely live out his God allotted
time on earth.”
But It’s Chinaza, my only true Love, she
can’t kill me.
My head was popping like pop corns as
I sat there, imagining how I will break
the news to my people.
My Mom will just shout the living
daylight out of me. I don’t know what
my father will do.
James came back looking more
confused than I was.
“Guy what was she saying?” I asked
him.
“That she is pregnant for you and she
wasn’t joking o.”
“Guy is that even possible? I mean are
you sure I am not impotent?”
Anything that would null and void the
possibility of my being the owner of the
pregnancy was welcomed. James just
looked at me like I was going mad.
“Wetin you mean, guy you are potent in
Jesus name.”
“Amen but guy, do you think the
something is mine?”
” It should be naa, I think you are the
only one bleeping her.”
We both sat on the bed, staring away.
“Maybe you should call Williams,”
James suggested and I nodded, that
was the most coded thing to do.
“I have to get my phone, it’s in my
room.”
I opened the curtains to my room and
peeped in, I was obviously expecting
Naza to grin at me and say it was all a
prank but she didn’t, she was sitting on
the bed with Shape, staring at the TV,
she had stopped crying.
“What do you want to do now?” I asked
her as I got to her on the bed. She
looked at me and shook her head.
“I don’t know.”
I stared at her for a few seconds, she
returned my stares and her
countenance changed.
“No way, I am not aborting him.”
I was yet to find out how she keeps
reading my mind through my eyes.
“I wasn’t saying that.”
“But you were thinking it, please I won’t
abort him.”
“Him? You already know it’s a boy?”
Something was telling me that she was
enjoying the whole pregnant something.
Shape was having the laugh of her life
at the side.
She just let out a weak smile and threw
herself into my hands while I called
Williams.
“Hello, young man, how are you?” Willy
bassed into my ears.
“Guy I no dy, you fit enter my lodge?”
“Ermm, wetin happen, you give woman
belle?”
That was funny.
“Yes, I give woman belle, abeg come
tomorrow.”
He laughed, he probably thought I was
joking.
“See you and your impotent prick, I dy
come tomorrow.”
We dropped the phone and I wished I
was impotent. Lol
Life of a fucker . Episode 37
My brother looked even more confused
than James was the day I was
mumbling about what Naza told me .
The look on Willy ’ s face was to die for ,
as in , it can kill you. If not for the cute
face and the neat beards, you would
have called him an slowpoke.
“What are even saying ? That Chinaza is
sick and went to the hospital , so? She
is here naa and she is not dead . ”
“Bro I am trying to say that she is
pregnant, ” I said and expected him to
place both his hands on his head. He
merely smiled.
“Congratulations dear, ” he was referring
to Chinaza. “ I hope the guy responsible
is going to marry you before the sign
turns up . ”
Chinaza merely shook her head, she
knew Willy was a clown most of the
time .
“Bro, the baby is mine , ” I said it slowly ,
avoiding eye contact . The whole room
went silent . For about 5 seconds
nobody spoke.
I thought my brother was burning me
up with his eyes only to look up and
see him staring sheepishly at shape
who was at the door .
I just weak for my family .
I slapped his knee and he turned to me
sharply.
“What were you saying ?”
“I was saying that Chinaza is pregnant
for me and that girl at the door is a
virgin. ”
His eyes bulged , I didn ’t know what
made them bulge , whether it was the
pregnancy or the Virgin ish . Unwanted
pregnancy to Willie was bad news and
hooking up with a Virgin was worst. He
refers to it as a worthless relationship .
Chinaza stood up and left with Shape.
Willie was just engaged in an eye
contest with me .
“Jeez , Chex , I have been in this game
for 100 years before they gave birth to
you and yet no Bleep ups , how could
you have been so careless ?”
“I don ’ t know o bro . It just happened , I
don’ t even know what to do . ”
He was giving me that look that
unlocks the tear gland in a man , the
look that usually says , “ Bro you Bleep
up and you are finished at the same
time ”.
“What do we do now ?” I I asked and he
pulled closer to me on the bed .
“Did you tell her of abortion?”
I looked at him and shook my head .
“She didn ’t even wait for the suggestion ,
she just change am for me when she
suspected that I will bring it up . ”
“Guy serious Bleep up . ”
“Yea , Dad will just throw me over the
balcony , ” I murmured, shedding internal
tears .
“No he won ’ t ,” he replied .
“You sure ?”
“Yea , he said he no longer needs stress
with his children . ”
“Thank God ,” I said and heaved a sigh
of relief .
“Yes , he is only going to shoot you, he
just bought a pump action . ”
Willie was wicked in a sort, he just
dropped it casually like shooting
someone was the same thing as
flogging him .
“See what we are going to do now , ” he
started and I paid rapt attention , hoping
he wasn’ t going to misyarn.
“Yes ?”
We will go to Dad’ s office. ”
“What for ?”
“Listen now , abi do you prefer going
home first where both him and mom
will jointly roast you like roadside
maize?”
I shook my head , I had better go with
his plan, he was the next man after my
father and I believed he controlled some
authority.
“We will settle with dad , then we get
home, he can help us fix mum . ”
“Yea , you made sense. ”
I always knew Willie was a great asset .
“We will talk to Rita too , she will help
us . ”
“Rita will Finish me naa , ” I protested .
“Yes but she will also help , just relax ,
you only got her pregnant , you didn’ t
kill her. ”
I fell back on the bed and hissed . I
knew pussy was going to kill me one
day but I never expected it to be
Chinaza’ s own .
“So when are we going to see Dad?” I
asked getting up from the bed.
“After I get this girl that just left with
Naza . ”
He was devouring the only star in my
fridge .
“She is a virgin bro . ”
He smiled at me and nodded.
“I have readjusted my standards , I am
the new Isreal. ”
“Israel kwa?”
He nodded again and smiled.
“I will tear down that wall of Jericho. ”
I sighed and fell back on the bed . The
next picture on my mind was me and
shape on the bed after Willie must have
opened her. Jeez , I swear I will be the
worst father on earth.
He stood up from the chair and walked
outside , probably after shape . He hadn ’ t
been gone for more than 30 seconds
before Chinaza bursted into my room ,
holding his hand , against his wish.
“Are you guys done?” she asked me as
I stared at them . I nodded and she
made Willie take a sit .
“Now , lets discuss about my own
issue. ”
“What issue?” Willie asked.
“My family , how will I tell them about
it?”
“It ’ s very easy , you just walk up to them
and yarn them what ’ s up. ”
That was Williams .
“Maybe you should help me , I will
appreciate , ” Chinaza replied him , rolling
her eyes .
“Have you told Chinelo ?” I asked and
she nodded .
“I told her when the result came out . ”
“What did she say?”
“That I am finished, ” she answered
casually . I had almost forgotten about
her parents .
“Fine , I will be there, maybe tomorrow ,
we will move from dad ’ s office to your
dad ’ s . ” I said and she put down her
head, sobbing without tears .
“What now ?” I asked.
“God I am finished. My Mom thinks I
am still a virgin . ”
I don ’ t know why I didn ’ t laugh at that ,
it was damn funny .
Williams took us out in the evening,
Me , Chinaza, James and Shape .
Somehow , my brother meandered his
way into shapes cubicle , shape was all
over him in the end . That boy is a
magician .
It was at the peak of the moment that I
learnt Shape’ s real name was Chinaza.
I am as amazed as you are .
For a moment , everything seemed
normal , Chinaza’ s pregnancy was
thrown to the background while we had
the fun of our lives . Willie had come
with mom ’ s car and so it was a little
high key .
I spent the rest of the night
prophesying my undying love for
Chinaza. I was drunk and high but she
wouldn’ t bulge , she needed no second
pregnancy and when the chips were
down . It turned out that Shape was
never a virgin, maybe her asshole is
still sealed but her pussy was as open
as the temple .
I was only pained at what I had missed
for almost a year .
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