Life of a fucker . Episode 4
My father has always been like a trusted and performing government to me , not for any reason other than he pays my allowances as and at when do .
My alert came in at the last Friday of the month so i decided to flex it out the next Sunday . I invited my girl over . She told me she would be coming with a friend of hers .
Me : why naa, you want to add additional expenses on my head abi ?
Chinaza: nooo , bae you know i won ’ t do anything like that
Me : So why would you come with her ? Abi you want to find me a 2nd girlfriend ?
Chinaza: you must be silly, i ’ m here saying you are not even enough for me and you are talking about sharing . .
Me : Biko stop , lets not start fighting on the phone because it is my airtime that you will be wasting.
Chinaza: Baby of course you know i don ’ t like fighting you on the phone , i will rather do it physically where i can beat sense into you.
I laughed
Me : so be serious jare, why would you be coming with someone extra .
Chinaza: Well , i ’ m bringing her for that your poke noser of a friend, james who keeps following you around. At least she will keep him busy , while i will have you to my self alone.
Me : Hahahaha , ok naa . I hope she is not a glutton or we will split the bill o .
Chinaza: stingy boy, as if we don’ t split the bills before .
Me : You better look cuter than her or I ’ m going to hand you over to James and rock her.
Chinaza: And you better have enough money on you or I will be bringing my 2nd boyfriend along .
crazy girl
Sunday came, by 2pm i was already out of the house with my usual culprit , James . We were headed for an open air restaurant . I called my babe , she was still taking her bath . Good news for us . We decided to sample the available girls .
My eyes caught one pretty looking girl . She was seated alone. I quickly dropped James and walked to her.
“Hmmm, i think its soothing to find out that I ’ m not the only one without company ” i said pulling a seat and joining her table .
She looked at me and smiled and faced her phone again.
“even though i ’ m already seated , i ’ m still going to ask, can i join you?
“Umm , i guess yes” she said smiling at me .
We got talking . Her name was sandra , she was waiting for a friend of hers. I decided should her friend come, to invite James over . I needed to know this girl .
My phone vibrated . I took a look and it was James . I stared in his direction . He was already on his second bottle of Heineken and was flashing his teeth at me .
I opened my whatsapp and texted him .
“Guy i hope those two bottles are not on my account o ”
“Before nko , na your papa carry me come here ?” he replied
I just sent him hmmm and focused back on my new friend. I ordered ordered two bottles of smirnoff for her and two bottles of Heineken for me . I cannot be buying Heineken for James and be drinking Malt . Its my money after all .
We were still talking before my phone rang again, i looked and it was James . I looked at him again and he was on his 3 rd bottle . He was asking me to come over . I eyed him and continued my convo.
He walked up to me , said hello to the girl and faced me .
“Guy , the door dy crowded o ”
I looked at the door and my girl was there. She didn’ t see me , thank God . She was focused on her phone .
I quickly excused myself, James kept my new catch company to my utter dismay . That guy is capable of anything. I was praying he doesn ’ t lie to her that he was the one paying for the drinks or order another one .
I approached my girl , she was really looking sweet .
“So who delayed you today ? , were you counting beans for your mother ” i asked her.
She hugged me and smiled
“sorry boo, i was waiting for my friend who said she was bringing another friend of hers ” she said smiling
My face froze . I looked at her with a deep frown on my face
“Did you say her friend?”
“Yea baby , whats wrong with your face ?
“Abeg stop all this baby thing , anytime you want to misbehave, you start looking for who to call baby ”
“Babe chill naa , you know i won ’ t let you bear the pains alone ”
“Abi , lets go before this Stupid James buys drinks for everybody here with my money”
We walked up to James and our new friend and i wasn’ t disappointed. James was on his 4th bottle of Heineken and Sandra was taking her 3 rd bottle of smirnoff .
“Hey , our girl is here ” James half screamed, he was obviously getting drunk .
They exchanged pleasantries .
“So sandra meet my guy ’s most beautiful girl , Chinaza, and chinaza meet my new friend, Sandra ” James introduction was totally inspired by alcohol . Chinaza ignored him , looked at sandra and smiled.
“So Ada i was waiting for you in the house and you ran here before me enjoying yourself naa” Chinaza said grabbing a seat.
I just stood stupefied . James was just looking at me with his mouth open .
I sat down . Looked at Sandra who was now smiling and turned to my girl .
“So this is the friend you were waiting for ? I asked her.
She laughed and Said yes. I was really confused and heartbroken . Now James was going to enjoy the girl i bought drinks for .
I became confused on whether to freak out on the new drinks James ordered or to be happy Chinaza lied about her friend bringing another friend. Well shaa , i just bought more drinks.
We did have fun. That is , drunk people ’ s fun. After about 2 to 3 bottles , i was motivated to buy more drinks and well peppered chicken wings. Men that Sandra girl is qualified to be called a village drunkard .
As we were talking and enjoying ourselves , Sandra ’ s phone rang .
Sandra : Hello babe , just walk in , you will see us .
She cut the call and said that ’ s her friend coming in . Apparently Chinaza didn ’ t lie , Her friend was bringing another friend.
I was financially drained that day , spent so much that my Girl was the one that paid for our transport home that day . Even James too felt the heat .
But the after party was just like an after party. Fun was the name . I don ’t need to tell you what a drunk girl can do . Chinaza was just a sweetheart . Their friend was Hot personified. Her name was Juliet.
While my baby was fixing us dinner in the kitchen, i was busy playing Romeo with Juliet . We were all drunk , my girl didn ’t mind .
Chinaza was drunk but not too drunk to share me with anybody.
She slept between me and Juliet. We went to bed by 2 am in the morning . Something happened on the bed between me , chinaza and Juliet . I can ’ t remember but maybe Juliet knows .
Don ’ t bother asking Chinaza or You will be getting a story from me about our divorce.
And did i say she didn ’ t share me that night , lol .
Am only BROKE not a CELIBATE .
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